What are people asking YOU?

Any time you’re wondering what you’re good at, think about this: What are people asking you?

When you’re taking any kind of marketing class, one of the questions they’re going to ask you is: What are people asking you? What kinds of questions have you been fielding from the people you live with, work with, rub shoulders with on the daily?  What are the things people question you about and how can you serve them? This is where your genius resides.

When I was first asked this question only one came to mind, loud in my ear each time someone asked me. Because it didn’t matter if I was playing or being serious, one question was being asked of me and I was very adept at answering, but I didn’t want to answer. I didn’t even want to acknowledge it. So, I felt small and dark, helpless.

I acknowledged the question, finally. The world seemed to be asking too, avoiding and filling their pockets with the consequences of not dealing with things before it became too late. Three words: 

How’s your health?

Someone was asking me a question. I came here daily, against my will, unless I chose to hide. For perspective: I have answered 35 years of the question “How is your health?”  Not proverbially, but literally.

What are people asking you?

Looking through one lens I can see blessing and, from another … the question makes me tired.

People care enough to ask: blessing. I have to answer: exhaustion. This isn’t a popular sentiment, but here it is: I’m looking for someone to see me, not my condition and I think it’s what most of us want. I think more of us want to have fun in our down time, sick or not, and rehashing the hospital visit isn’t going to make us well. 

Perhaps this is one reason we don’t talk about what we deal with. Why don’t we talk about the real things? Somehow, I think we know that what we talk about will become our story line. It’s human to dwell on the one thing we know about someone. If we met when they were dealing with cancer that’s the thing we’ll continue to talk about. 

Then, there’s the other reality: Taking time to learn another person is hard. So, talking about the things our senses find immediate – sight, sound, touch … why go beyond it? But, that promises distance as it gets exhausting re-hashing medical stories and the things that have little meaning long term.

If you have something dramatic to talk about you don’t have to really get to know whether someone’s favorite color is blue or red. You can spend all your time talking about very surface medical stories and never discover how someone came to be in the hospital in the first place. 

It’s easy to walk away from a conversation not really gaining much at all. I can’t tell you how many people have walked into my hospital room with great hearts and beautiful treasures, but I have no idea if they like meat nor why they came to visit.

Of course there are exceptions to every rule; and I’m not saying you should never ask this question. But, is it your crutch? Do you want to know the people you pepper for information or are you just trying to fill silent space?

How’s my health? 

Well, How’s yours? 

Mental, Spiritual, Emotional, Relational … There are all kinds of health. Posing this question should always welcome a two-way conversation.

So, instead of freezing you out, I’m inviting you in. If you’ve ever asked me the question: “How’s your health?” – your time to press follow or start checking up on me has come. 

What are people asking you?

There’s nothing sexy about healing. It takes time. The emotions are real. And, it doesn’t always turn out the way we want it to. My life has felt very public for a long time, even before facebook was a thing, so I began hiding. I didn’t want to tell my story … I wanted to hide. 

But, it seems, it’s time to share it “as we go” with you because this is your story too … no matter how it turns out.  So, as I heal, I hope you will heal too. 

How’s your health? It’s a question we have to answer honestly for ourselves and the benefits of having someone ask you over and over is this: You start to finally ask yourself, “How is my health?”

Before we can transform we have to acknowledge something needs to be transformed.

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“I was very adept at answering, but I didn’t want to answer …”

Lois Garner – What are people asking you?